+ Life | And Death

Overwhelming feeling it seems. Lately, I have been swamped with the news of demise. My colleagues at work and friends I know, are in morning over their loss.

Since I can remember working here, I have always been the one who prints out condolence letters and go around collecting contributions for the bereaved colleagues in the office and production floor.

I would be one of the guys who would attend the funeral to pass the contributions to them. I do not know why, but I feel that it is their time of need however small a contribution of my efforts could provide.

These two weeks have been the peak of such news. People under my charge have their Grandmother and father passed on. A few days later, my boss lost his grandmother, but before that an office colleague on the 4th floor lost her mother.

Since I have been feeling quite down with all sad occasions, last night I received and email from a dear friend who is loosing her adopted father.

I wrote her something I have never written before, but could not totally relate to as I have never lost someone close to be before. So the magnitude of the feeling of lost has not strike me yet. I hope I will not go through it, but that is not life.

As I wrote the reply to her, I realised that, that was how I view it. It has always been never thought through for me, but that was how I view it.

I wrote that it is a journey of life that everyone has to go through... alone. It is a frightening path to cross over, but it would think it would be easier to cross to the hereafter with the love and warmth of the people you love surrounding him, to give him strength to make that leap.

I may be wrong and it may totally be untrue, but that is how I would want to feel when it is my time. There may be a lot of things that I cannot complete, and a lot of wrongs I cannot make right again before I go, but if I can feel the love and warmth of the people I care surrounding me, I would feel closure and gain strength to leave.

The rest of the journey will be between me and The Almighty. The good deeds I have done, my contributions on earth to myself, my wife, my child, my parents, my siblings, my neighbours, the society at large and to my God.

This is the journey I have to take alone. Only the sincere prayers of my child and wife, my parents and love ones will lighten my sins to face Him.

This is an emotional post for me. I feel that I have to do it for my own sanity and to lift my spirits up amidst all these mounting load at the workplace...

What was with the audits from the ISO Standards Board, technical audits from our visiting US Customer; my dear, former boss whom I have worked with for the past 14 years leaving the company; the constant loss of people I know from the manpower cuts, the setting up of my wife's new shop... all the insecurities seem huge now, all at once.

The last one is a passion for both my wife and I, but I cannot fail either, because that may be the path for me beyond this company. Going into retail and manage our own little business.

My view in short to all I know, the passing of someone we love is inevitable. We have to deal with the loss and the memories that are left - both good and bad, because only these memories will make the person truly real in our hearts as we go on with our lives.

The prayers we contribute to them are the best food in their afterlife. Take care the ones that are around you still. Time heals every wound. Bless you.